10.23.20

the more i stain this place with 'myself', the less you will like it - because we are not the same. if we were to become the same, at that moment, we would again be alone.

maybe that's why god exploded

10.21.20

the other day i was reminded of the concept of lateralization in the brain. i had discarded the idea sometime ago (due to a commonly echoed dismissal of a popular over-simplification); but i've recently discovered a use for it in my artistic endeavors.

to put it simply, i find it easier to draw while listening to someone speak, and more difficult when enjoying music*. my theory is that, while the language-based hemisphere is distracted, it's easier for the intuitive side to take over; and vise versa, when the abstract side is engaged by the pleasure of sound, the analytical partition takes the reigns - steering the piece into a stiff, inorganic construction.

i also noted, while doing more mechanical tasks (like filling in the lineart), that i had difficulty following the speaker, and longed for a melody to pass the time. thinking back, i often did my math homework while listening to music.

maybe none of this has any relation to hemispheres at all, and is simply a product of my imagination (or confirmation bias). regardless, i struggled less during the process and felt more satisfied with the result when following this method; perhaps it could be useful to you, too.

*music without vocals

10.16.20

it's been longer than i would have liked. how easily inspiration turns to despair! regardless, we must continue taking steps, no matter how unsteady.

10.02.20

i had no intention of publishing entries like this at the outset.

however, after taking a look at other sites, i've changed my mind. i found that, after a while, the most enjoyable part was living for a moment in another's mind. perhaps someone will find this interesting as well.

10.01.20

although the result is nice, i need to increase my speed/fluidity and develop a reliable method - otherwise my thoughts will float away before i can capture them!

ultimately i want to tell a story, even if it's only fragments presently ("plumes"). there is something about the simple bluntness of the first that i really enjoyed, i would like to repeat that in the future. deliberated over the use of color; it's an important moment, so i think it's okay.

9.30.20

threw away a day of work; the sketch feels more alive - it always does. i'll redo it tomorrow. think i overworked myself today, i need to take breaks. we need to finish, but we don't need to rush.