“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” - Buddha
“Speak only if it improves upon the silence” - Mahatma Gandhi
“Wisdom is knowing when to speak and when to listen” - ?
humans are unpredictable,
you can't expect anything from them;
that's what makes them interesting!
was reading about experiences on dmt and found a few gems:
"enlightenment is the egos greatest disappointment"
"To seek the Tao is to turn away from the Tao"
"There is nothing extra to seek or flow towards. We're already here. This is it. You are it. Being is it."
guidance - feeling down today, can't decide what to do
nine of pentacles - reversed
self-worth, over-investment in work, hustling
reflect on your own sense of self-worth and value; remember what is truly important to you
how do i improve my sense of self-worth?
nine of wands
resilience, courage, persistence, test of faith, boundaries
keep trying; trust that you are close to the goal; the final challenge
i took this to mean i should continue work on my creative project and to not abandon it.
this reading was from the week prior, but it was so beautiful i wanted to both share and remember it.
give me guidance
Page of Wands - reversed
Newly-formed ideas, redirecting energy, self-limiting beliefs, a spiritual path
i've certainly been feeling something blossoming within, but my steps are scattered. my small plans continually unfold in ways unexpected. i should rexamine the path i wish to take, and consider how to better align my steps.
how?
Eight of Swords - reversed
Self-limiting beliefs, inner critic, releasing negative thoughts, open to new perspectives
i don't know why i asked such an obvious question, i think i just like to draw cards! but even in this reading i couldn't help but doubt myself; what comes after? what could possibly await me once i gain the confidence to walk my path? where will i even go?
Ace of Cups
Love, new relationships, compassion, creativity
what a beautiful card! this truly stunned me. my heart will be open, and the possibilities - endless; i need only the courage. alright then, i'll try.
i would like to be more conscious of the way i phrase things; our words hold more power than we realize! i would like to avoid 'should' and replace it with 'i would like'. this way, i can differentiate between that which i believe in (intrinsic motivation), and what someone else has decided (extrinsic).
updated the gallery with several projects from the past year. disappointed with how little i produced, but i found myself consumed by the new xiv expansion. truthfully, i regret it. i don't think raiding is all that fun in the end, despite the strong desire to participate. i wish i had put my efforts and dreams towards something more worthwhile. hopefully i can learn my lesson and avoid future fomo! let's instead revel in jomo!
regarding art, i've been struggling quite a bit in developing a process. i am able to produce sketches and ideas i enjoy, but inevitably as i attempt to refine the piece i become frustrated with myself. i just don't know how to turn my sketch into a finished piece, and the more i massage it the less i like it! it's something i've touched on in the past - the realization that the actualization of a drawing can never match the potential of a sketch; but still i end up disappointed.
another issue is that i'm too precious with my ideas. they're not particularly special, but in the moment it feels that way. i should endeavor to complete my sketches to a degree of legibility and move on! if i decide to finish it later, whatever that means, i can try then.
i've failed to detach myself from the outcome! i don't think it's a bad thing; actually, i think i was incorrect in my thinking. i found this comment on a video particularly inspiring:
"I think this is one of the main problems of meditating without guidance, and why it's so important for monks to have a master and a sangha (community). Meditation isn't about self-indulgence or self-alienation, it's about developing true consciousness and attention. Without any guidance, it can turn into a mere analgesic exercise. Another toy for the ego, which turns from emotions of rejection and obsession into equally unhealthy indifference. This is why meditating in groups/communities is important, so as to not lose track of the fact that we are not singular beings separated from everything and everyone that surrounds us, as a matter of fact, there is no real separation. The separation is a product of our imagination. This is what Buddhism teaches at least."
as well as this article: When Arguments Happen: Answering, Defending, and Debating Compassionately
to detach yourself from the outcome of an argument with a friend is a bit self-centered, isn't it? i would like to resolve our tension through compassion and love. i'll keep trying!