"the more i stain this place with 'myself', the less you will like it"
those words marked my final entry. for as long as that belief endured, i could say no more. do i still believe it? perhaps a little. but there's something else there now. something like... pride. - emil
i felt like my prior attempts, both the design and my notes here, had an air of 'trying too hard'. i was ashamed of myself,
i always am.
i want to be true to myself; but who am i?
i enjoy the flowery prose, but it comes off a bit pretentious? i don't mean it that way. i worry too much what you will think.